Future of Doom Experiment
by CloudCuckooSquirrel
Summary: An alternate Invader Zim future I imagined, just for fun. Grown-up characters, grown-up characters' kids, and a screwed up plot in progress owo
1. Test Stage I

**Hey everyone!**

**Well... Remember my 'Future of Doom' story? This would rather be the true beginning, I think XD**

**The narration might be slightly different, like less random and lunatic, but still, I made my best to catch the series style owo**

**Soooo hope you all like!**

_**Just in case you didn't see the 'Future of Doom' pilot, this would be like how I picture 'Invader Zim' in some years, grown-up characters, grown-up characters' kids and stuff... also, I hide official characters names by some reason .3.;**_

_**ALSO: I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive! Thank you! T-T**_

Test Stage I

"9:00 AM... Nothing... 9:01 AM... Nothing..."

Hours. He had spent _hours_ next to that damned container, with that damned substance that hadn't changed the slighest. And although that was what he had chosen, although that was his forte, real science was boring as hell. He sighed deeply. If he only could return, at least for a second, to those days, those youthful days of madness, when he used to stalk an apparently dangerous alien, without realizing how truly incompetent he was. Then he smirked sadly. He was so _so_ young.

_BEEP BEEP BEEP!_

He startled briefly and turned to the cellphone, taking it and looking at the screen. Speaking about the young ones...

"Good morning!"

"Hello, dear, how's it going?"

"Fine... Just realized that I'm intolerant to pizza and causes me nausea, but besides that, everything's okay"

"Holy snap... That woman doesn't eat _anything_ that isn't pizza... Are you sure you are okay?"

"At least by now, yes. And what about you? How's work?"

"Fine, fine..."

"Will you come soon?"

He sighed.

"Den... you are there since just three days ago and we talked every night, isn't that enough?"

"I know, I'm sorry! It's because I have been feeling a little... unsafe"

"I already told you that your aunt won't do anything to you if you don't bother her"

"Yes, yes... I just... forgot it... Sorry..."

"It's okay, don't apologize"

Now she was the one who was sighing.

"Well... I have to go to school, so..."

"All right, I hope you have a nice day... seriously"

"Thanks, dad, we'll talk later"

Both hung up.

He didn't know how would be her new school, but still, that neighborhood was so filthy and disgusting as the rest of that city, including that new school. And compared to all that sick people, she was so innocent, so _normal_. It was for that reason that he had been keeping her indoors, studying at home, playing at home, reading at home. But now she was _somewhere else_. And he was worried. He was _truly_ worried about what could happen to his little girl.

Meanwhile, Den was leaning out of the attic's window, to give a thoughtful look to the front block's house. Her _real _reason to feel unsafe. She could perceive lots of abnormal and frantic screeches coming from it, what made her sudder and leave, after hearing Kiki's shouts.

"Come ooooooon! We're going to be late!" she called.

"Comiiiiiiing!"

And shortly afterwards, Den and Kiki were outside, heading happily to school. Well... Maybe not so happily. Or that was what Den thought once the tiny and ridiculously cute girl said right what she didn't want to hear.

"Y-you were right after all, neighbors aren't so bad! T-that mister must be really nice, I have to thank him for returning you my plushie!"

Den stopped, and something inside her seemed to break, since she actually had _cracked_ after stopping.

"You don't have to, I... I already did it before" she replied.

"B-but it's not the same! I-I should do it too"

"Seriously, it's not that important"

"Den! How do you expect to be a good person being like _that_?" nagged Kiki.

"My father told me that it's not necessary to be sociable"

"_Of course_ he says that. He has _problems_, doesn't he?"

"..."

"W-what? Was it something I said?"

They kept walking in silence, until arriving to the corner. And then, right in that moment, an unpleasantly recognizable figure turned it running, what made it bump Kiki, to then fall to the floor along with her.

"WATCH OUT!"

Den startled abruptly, practically freezing to the sound of _that_ voice. And indeed there he was, lying over the sidewalk.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" moaned Kiki, getting up and approaching to him "L-let me help you!"

"GET AWAY, YOU _MAGGOT_!"

Den was already paling and shivering. Why, oh _why_ that _weird green man_ again? _Why_? Well... at least he seemed to be unable to move, so she just went towards Kiki and took her by one of her wrists, in an attempt of pulling her away.

"Oh well, if he's okay by himself then let's go..." she muttered nervously. Kiki was going to follow her, as frightened as her, but once he noticed her, he stood up immediately, as he pointed accusingly at her.

"YOU!"

Almost instictively, Den turned.

"YOU!" he repeated, as if it wasn't already clear "THE DEFORMED PSYCHOTIC RAT THAT ATTACKED ME WITH THAT STUFFED THING OF HELL!"

She took a deep breath before answering, trying to keep calm.

"I didn't attack anyone, I threw it by accident, and actually it's an elephant"

Obviously, the word 'elephant' had been pronounced with a noticeably exaggerated emphasis.

"I don't care, YOU STILL WILL PAY!"

"NO! Please!" cried Kiki suddenly.

"Kiki!" she gasped "I-it's okay, I have everything under..."

"Please, please forgive this _mindless nutcase_!"

"Oh, come on! Don't apologize with... wait, what?"

"I-I only wanted her to hug lil' Hugo and she just tossed it away! So she didn't have any intention of attacking you, she was attacking _him_ instead!"

"K... Kiki..."

The weird green man glared at both, a bit distrustfully.

"I-I know she's _brutal_, but trust me, I-I won't let anything like that happen again!"

"Hum... I don't know..."

"Please!" insisted the tiny girl.

"FORGET IT! I'LL GET MY REVENGE! REVENGEEEEEEE!" he yelled, clenching and shaking his both fists.

"Oh no, please no!" screamed Kiki.

But she couldn't do anything. She couldn't do anything against the piggy plushie that he took from his pocket, to then throw it mercilessly to Den, who didn't even reach to dodge it and fell noisily to the floor. Then he laughed madly and walked away, still yelling lots of weird things.

"VICTORY! VICTORY FOR THE IRKEN EMPIREEEE!"

Kiki had approached to Den, who was getting up carefully and staring at the pig with an annoyed glance, as she kicked it away.

"A-are you okay?"

"Sure, I'm great"

"Just in case... Was that sarcasm?"

"What do you think?"

And then she kept walking, still followed by the tiny girl.

"Whatever... He already got his deadly revenge so I guess he'll leave me alone now"

"S-see? That's what happens when you are meanie with my plushies!"

"But seriously, _seriously_! Is everyone in this neighborhood _so_ weird?"

"I-I didn't see anything weird, I also would get mad at you if you broke my window, s-specially if you don't behave when all I want is an apology"

"Kiki... Are you _kidding_ me or _what_?"

"Why? What's so wrong?"

"Didn't you _just_ see the guy? I mean, it's okay, anyone can have girly voice and be short-tempered and stuff but _come on_! He has _green_ skin!"

"Whaa? Are you _racist_ now?"

Den facepalmed.

"Kiki... I know this is hard for you but try to concentrate... Green isn't a normal skin color. And... he had no ears..."

Then she shivered once more, this time hugging herself tight.

"Didn't you consider that he could have a serious disease and that's why he's so _frustrated_?"

"Hum... Well... maybe you are right... These... nerves..."

She hugged herself a second time, even tighter.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that you'll be better once we get to school. Nobody knows you so you still can make friends"

"Yeah... Hold on... What did you _mean_ with _that_?"

"Err... Wanna hug Hugo?"

"No, thanks..."

The school was just as Den supposed it would be. Huge, gray and gloomy. It almost looked like a prison...

And it was even worse inside. There were countless corridors, and all of them were ambiguously clean. And also ambiguously quiet. There were even cameras all over the ceiling. Den was looking around, frowning confusedly.

"...what kind of school is this?"

"W-well, I have to go to my classroom, so... S-see you later! Make friends! _Seriously_"

And once Kiki left, Den found herself even more lost than before, in the middle of that completely unknown place. Until then, she had been studying comfortably at home. It was the first time ever that she was in a school.

When the silence became disturbing, she headed to the playground, where, effectively, there were lots of other children, shouting, laughing and running around, as children normally used to do. Den just sat down somewhere and took a notebook and a pencil from her backpack, to then start doodling... equations.

Naturally, some turned, pointed and whispered stuff. The old-fashioned 'Who is she?' blared everywhere.

Meanwhile, in that same playground, but pretty far, someone else was contemplating everything shyly, from behind a column.

In that same moment, one of the children finally went towards Den.

**And I got tired so I'm going to cut it off here XD**

**If you liked please review, will be really appreciated! :3**


	2. Test Stage II

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive! Thank you! T-T**_

Test Stage II

"Hey..."

Den was still filling her notebook with lots of numbers and symbols, adding more and more equations.

"Hey, you..."

She kept scrabbling, exaggeratedly stuck in her work, until that kid approached enough to project an annoying shadow over her notebook, what made her finally lift her glance.

"Huh?"

"Just wondering, what are you doing?" he inquired, confusedly, as he pointed vaguely at the scrabbled page.

"Why? Didn't you ever see anyone studying maths?" she replied, already foreseeing a cruelly mocking answer.

"Well... Actually, it's the first time I see a _drawing_ made of equations..."

"What?"

Den looked down, to then realize that it was true. The twisted equation lines were forming a face, with enormous eyeballs and _antennas_.

"What is it?" asked that boy.

"No idea, I was... improvising" she muttered, closing the notebook.

"And by the way, are you new here or something?"

"Yes, since like five seconds ago"

"I see... In that case..."

The boy came suspiciously closer.

"Make sure that _they_ don't see you when you're doing that maths stuff. You could be labeled as _strange_"

She lifted an eyebrow.

"Hum... Okay?"

"Seriously, be careful. Once you turn into a _freak_, it's hard as hell to survive. You only have to ask to the _last one_..."

He turned, along with her, to a closed dumpster in a corner, that had been sealed with lots of adhesive tape. A high-pitched moan was blaring inside.

"_I can't breaaath..._"

Then Den looked back at the boy, who just nodded.

"See what I mean?"

She frowned slightly.

"Anyway... What would be so strange about equations? Is it so wrong to exercise my brain?"

"...want me to be honest?"

"Well, I like being like this, if anyone has a problem then I shall ignore it"

An electronic bell went off, announcing the start of the first class, as Den kept her notebook and stood up to then walk away. That boy watched her leave, shaking his head.

"She's dead..."

...

"WELCOME! To a new, exciting, hyper funny and educational NEW YEAR!"

Den couldn't know what was scarier. Surely that gloomy school was eerie, but that _extremely_ glad woman with _that_ grin in her face was definitely something worse.

"It's a great pleasure for me to tell everyone that we have received new students this year!"

Right after hearing that, Den, who was sitting in the depths of the classroom, hid her face behind an open book. The last thing she wanted was to be noticed. But instead of looking at her, the teacher turned to the door. Someone was entering slowly.

"Ah! There you were, _sweety_! Come in, don't be shy!"

Den narrowed her eyes to get a closer look.

"Class, this is Zal!"

"Heeeellooo Zaaaal" greeted the kids dismally, with almost creepy monotone voices.

Den had to stand up, since she barely could see the small figure next to the teacher. She was _really_ short. Maybe even Kiki was taller than her.

"Well, Zal, is there anything you would like to tell to the class?"

The girl shook her head quietly.

"_Good!_ Now sit wherever you like! And remember to be nice with her and make her feel comfortable, class!"

Little _Zal_ sat down in the first file, and Den sighed, relieved. The back seat had worked perfectly, no one seemed to have noticed her presence.

"Oh... I almost forget it! There's another new student in this class! Miss... Den! Den? Where's Den?"

Until now...

"Over there, I think" said someone, clearly pointing at her, to make it even more evident.

"Indeed, there she is!" exclaimed the teacher happily, and also clapping briefly by some spontaneous reason "Den? Could you come here and introduce yourself to the class?"

Simply perfect. She had to put the book down to look at the teacher and try to answer so politely as she could.

"No, thanks, I don't think I have anything to say"

The woman stared at her by some seconds, then twitched and began to laugh madly.

"Oh, _COME ON_! I'm sure that you have lots of interesting things to tell!" she exclaimed, practically making Den jump in her seat.

"N-no, really..."

"GO _NOW_! Please, thank you!"

Without wanting to question that horrific and possibly fake smile, Den got up and went towards the chalkboard, shivering a bit since the teacher was still staring closely at her.

"Hum... Hi, I'm Den"

"Heeeeellooo Deeen..."

"And... I hope to not get into trouble, thanks"

Then she ran back to her seat.

"Deeeeeeeen! What are you doing?"

Den stopped abruptly, gulping.

"Returning to my seat, miss teacher..."

Still smiling in that disturbing way, the woman lifted one finger and moved it from one side to other.

"No-no! Don't hide there, even though you're new, it's still _nasty_ to escape from your classmates!"

"But I don't mean to..."

"Come to the first line!"

"I..."

"PLEASE!"

"F-fine..."

Once she sat down, Den could get a better view of that other new girl called Zal. She was, indeed, very _very_ short, and her long dark hair was tied in a pair of a bit weird-looking pigtails. She also was wearing a disgustingly cute missy pink dress. Den sighed. Yes, just _another_ Kiki.

The class was long and boring, like any normal class. The recess, however, would be more interesting.

"Hey! How's it going?"

"I like your hairstyle!"

"Where are you from?"

"Wanna play?"

It was incredible, simply incredible. Maybe Den was invisible but, unlike her, that other new girl was attracting all the attention _ridiculously_ fast. And she couldn't even get why, since it was obvious that Zal was very shy. Very very _very_ shy. Anyway, shortly afterwards, and little by little she started to talk to the crowd. It was what some would call to become _popular_. That brought Den a great sensation of relief.

"Finally, peace... No one could notice me now" she whispered to herself "So I can continue with my _freaky_ stuff... Wait, what did I just say?"

But instead of that, she kept watching the group. She wasn't feeling lonely, neither envious. Just... curious.

"Now, now, everyone, let the poor thing breath"

She startled at that voice, recognizing it immediately. It was that boy, that same boy that she had met before.

"I-It's okay, it's good to know this place is so friendly" replied Zal nicely.

Den shuddered. For some reason, all that cuteness and happiness were making her feel uncomfortable. So she stood up and, at last, she left, entering back in the school and going to the empty classroom.

"W-what are you doing?"

She turned. Speaking of sick cuteness...

"Hi, Kiki. Nothing much, just... maths... I think"

"No-no, I mean, what are you doing here? Haven't you talked to anyone yet?"

"Not really"

Kiki frowned a bit, then approached and poked Den's head with the octopus plushie that she was carrying.

"_S-s-s-socialiiiiiiiiiiize!_"

"Kiki, please..."

"H-how do you think your dad would feel if he sees you like t-this?"

"Don't start with that, everyone says it and, actually, my dad understands me perfectly, we don't have any trouble"

"Does he understand you or does he _pretend_ to do it?"

"Now you're sounding like the psychiatrist" she sighed.

"P-pleaaaase! At least one? I have an adorable friend that could be your friend too!"

Den rolled her eyes, knowing that she wouldn't stop so easily, besides it would have been definitely mean -and/or _insane_- to refuse.

"Fine, fine..."

Kiki let out a pretty high 'Yay!' and took Den's hand, pulling her out of the classroom. She was practically being dragged out. They ran and ran, and after a while, Kiki stopped in a hallway, that was full of vending machines. And effectively, there was someone drinking a can of... something, in a corner.

"H-hey! Hey! I'm back and I brought Den!" shouted Kiki happily, as she waved the figure.

Den froze. It was almost a 'Take that!', a 'Don't keep running from fate!', a 'JUST SHUT UP AND ACCEPT IT!'

Because there she was, in front of her and still with that gentle smile in her face.

"Den, this is my best friend, Zal!"

Fifteen minutes and they were friends. No, _best_ friends...

"Hello" greeted the new girl kindly.

"Hi..."

"And now that you know each other, let's do funny things together! Wanna join, Mr. Octopus?"

"That sounds great! Mind if my piggy joins too?"

"Sure! The more, the better!"

And so, the three girls went away laughing. Well, at least two of them. Den was still in a _deadly_ state of shock. The pig... Just... the pig...

She was sure of it since she was little. Every time she saw a pig, something _terrible_ would happen later...

**AND NOW THE LIGHTS GO OFF**

**DOHOHOHOHO~**

**Review if you liked, what I hope :3**


	3. Test Stage III

___**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive! Thank you!**_

___**Also... yus, these aren't precisely one-shots as what I had thought in a beginning, sorry by the unexpected turn .o.;**_

Test Stage III

_Tap tap tap tap tap..._

His fingers continued tapping the desk incessantly, as he kept staring at his little nervous patient, at those eyes that were so full of fear.

"Well, well, well..." he muttered, still seeming to be scanning her with his glance "Den... It has been a while..."

She lifted an eyebrow.

"Hum... Dr. Holzbauer, the last time we talked was like one week ago"

He sighed.

"I know, child, but I was having a _great_ need of saying that... Didn't it sound good?"

"Maybe, but it didn't have enough sense"

"Whatever... How have you been, anyway?"

"Fine, I guess"

"And more important..." the man sat down, knowing that whatever she was going to tell would be long, _very_ long "What's the matter now? I have to admit that I haven't seen those scared deer eyes in ages, so it must be _serious business_..."

Den nodded briefly.

"Verily... They're back, sir... _They're back_..."

The psychiatrist narrowed his eyes, as she shuddered for a second.

"What do you mean? Hmm?"

She looked in all directions.

"The _pigs_..."

That inevitably made her shudder again.

"Uhuh... And why are you whispering?"

"I don't know but didn't it sound good?" she mumbled, with obvious sarcasm, besides she _truly_ had no idea.

"Let me guess... Are you feeling watched? _Again_? But _this time_ by pigs?"

"No, no, it's nothing like that. There's a... meaning for those pigs"

"Really?"

"Remember the first time ever I came here?"

"Oh, how to _not_ remember it... You were a hysterical 7-year-old then, with a serious trauma caused by... oh right, pigs"

"Hey... It wasn't _that_ serious"

"Are you trying to tell me that it has come back?"

"No... Listen... It was plain weird before, I thought it was just a coincidence but now... now it makes perfect sense! It makes perfect sense!"

"What's your point?"

"The last time I saw pigs everywhere... the last time I had all those pig _visions_... It was right before the _accident_..."

"Uhuh... So?"

"And now, after years, I started seeing them again. First that one the... _neighbor_ threw at me, then the other that the new girl at school was holding, then the _ham_ that we had for dinner, what technically is pig and although it wasn't actually showed it's true... and everything began after I moved with my aunt, and then..."

"Hold on! I'm getting lost, just tell me what makes these pigs so worrying"

She stood up, almost in a jump, and punched the desk _dramatically_.

"THE PIGS ARE _OMENS_, DOCTOR! BAD BAD _DEADLY_ OMENS!"

"Calm down now, Den! Remember that talk we had about how pointless was to shout to show you're being serious?"

"I'm not shouting, I'm just raising my voice! Don't you know what speak with emphasis is?"

"I do, but do you really have to emphasize _every single _word?"

"I'm sorry... but... but... I would get into trouble if I shout at school and I'm surely going to get dreadfully _mauled_ if I ever shout at my aunt's house, I had to shout _somewhere_! Otherwise I could lose my mind..."

"...didn't you, already?"

"Huh?"

"Nothing... Aaaand this need of shouting, why could it be?"

"Believe me, I'm a calm person... but lately, I have been starting to feel... unsafe, and when I feel unsafe, I feel nervous, and those nerves... I don't think I have to go on"

Then, and to her surprise, the man laughed, as he petted her head.

"Oh, Den! Little hysterical exaggerated obsessive Den! There's nothing to worry about, your only problem is just an overdose of paranoia fuel!"

"P-paranoia fuel?" she stuttered, confused, and also slightly shocked by that so unexpected joyful reaction.

"You just have to relax, there isn't any danger, it's all in your mind. Now that I think it, this also could explain the rest of your senseless breakdowns"

"But... but... the _pigs_!"

"Who says those pigs are real omens of death? Hmm? Did any terrible thing happen already? After seeing them?"

"Well, no, but..."

"It's just your mind, Den, that's all. You're being influenced by your own fear... what isn't so strange, in fact, since you read lots of horrific novels with bloodthirsty aliens..."

"You don't understand, doctor... Nothing happened, but _still_, there's something wrong... that... _man_ who lives in front of my aunt's house... there's something wrong with him"

"Seriously? Or is that what you want to think?"

"..."

"Look, I can easily get what's going on here and it isn't anything alarming. There's an specific cause for this paranoiac state. It's _boredom_, Den, you are a really _bored_ person"

"Excuse me?"

"There isn't any true menace here, pigs are just pigs and nothing else. It's all a delusion, a delusion that you yourself have been creating to endure this boredom. You desperately want your life to be _exciting_"

"Hum... I can't deny it, sounds pretty logical, but... _Seriously_? That's _all_?"

"That's all. You should get a better and less psychotic way to amuse, child"

"So... Then you are meaning that I have to ignore these bad feelings and keep living normally to not drive insane?"

"Effectively"

"But... What if once I start ignoring this stuff then something terrible happens and I can't..."

"Den... You are doing it again"

She looked down.

"Sorry..."

"It's okay, we just have to find a way to dispel those harmful habits. Okay?"

"Okay..."

"This could lead you to isolation. You know, distance you from all the people you care about, your family and friends"

"Ehm, doctor... I don't have friends"

"Well, what about your parents?"

"You mean, my father?"

He silenced for a moment.

"Oh... Right, your father... Huh... He didn't even mention you didn't have a..."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Have you been talking with your father recently?"

Den paused thoughtfully.

"Not really"

"Why not?"

"Because, well, you just have to look at him! He's so _clever_, and so _stable_ and so _sane_, and I... I'm strange, ain't I..."

"Are you saying that you don't think you could get along?"

"Maybe..."

"But have you ever tried to establish any kind of communication with him?"

"Sometimes, yes"

"Besides 'Good morning', 'Hello', 'Bye', 'How are you'?"

"..."

"That's not good, Den. You're going to turn 12 this year, you're growing up so it's time to leave the _deadly alien pigs_ fantasies behind and start focusing in more important things. To begin, your unsociable behavior"

"Believe me, it's not my intention to be like that"

"It's okay, I never said it was something bad. Actually, it's quite common"

"Oh well... At least I'm not _that_ strange then..."

"At least..."

"So... I think I have to go already"

"Indeed, we're done"

"Then... I shall try to put this into practice"

Den stood up and went towards the door.

"Goodbye, Den, I hope you get over it soon... if it's not already too late and you have just started to _inevitably_ become a _freak_..."

Her skinny body shivered, frozen, once that last awful word reached her ears, as she closed the door.

...

"Aaand this is me when I bought my cheery pony!"

"Aaaaaaaw! Adorable!"

"I know, right?"

Giggles. Lots of disgustingly cute giggles blared everywhere. Both Kiki and Zal had notably high-pitched voices, that would irritate anyone with their exaggeratedly lovely way of speaking, but when both voices were laughing _and_ at the same time, without even stopping to _breath_... Someone nearby was already twitching, finding herself unable to ignore them. And that same someone turned immediately, once the door opened and Den came in.

"Where have you been?"

"At the psychiatrist..."

"And where's the steak?"

"...steak?"

"Steak. Didn't you buy it?"

"Eeehm... You didn't even ask..."

The woman clenched her fists against her lap, as she took a wallet from a pocket.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go and get it"

"Could it be later? I'm a bit tired now and..."

Den's aunt was practically stabbing her with her glance.

"I. Want. My. Steak. And. I. Want. It. Now... Got it?"

Den gulped and nodded. The woman tossed her the wallet, hitting her face, and then turned back to the TV. Den picked it up quickly and headed to the door when...

"Hey, Den! Wait for us!"

And shortly afterwards, Kiki and Zal were following her across the streets, like ducklings.

"H-how was your day with the psychiatrist?" inquired Kiki, after a while.

"Fine, I guess"

Then, right what she truly didn't want to hear came from Zal's mouth.

"Psychiatrist? Do you go to the psychiatrist?"

"She goes almost _all the time_!"

"Kiki... I don't think it's a good idea to talk about that now"

"It's all right, I mean, it's pretty normal, isn't it?" smirked Zal.

"Yeah, maybe..."

"W-well, if you want me to talk about something else, I found my saccharine album!"

"...saccharine album?"

"It has all my sweetest photos of the last three years! I'm so glad, I thought it was missing!"

"Oh... That's... good to hear"

"Sounds like a nice idea, I should make mine too!" exclaimed Zal clapping.

"That would be great!"

And both giggled, as Den rolled her eyes with a tired smile.

"You should do the same, Den! So that we all have our own albums!"

"Sure..."

And so, they entered to the supermarket. Once they were inside, Kiki started to screech disturbingly again, almost sounding like an ape.

"Marshmallows! Marshmallows, marshmallows, MARSHMALLOWS!"

"Kiki, for Heaven's sake, could you calm down a minute? Besides, we came for steak!"

"Oh, come on! I have money, let's buy some marshmallows too!" she replied.

"All right, go for them while I go for the steak"

"YAY! T-thanks, Den, we'll be back!"

"Yeah, go, go..."

"I never had heard of these marshmallows, are they tasty?" inquired Zal, as they walked away.

"T-they are! You'll love them, I'm sure!"

Den sighed, shaking her head.

"Those girls... Well, now, where's the meat..."

It didn't take her enough to find the frozen food section, and also to realize that there was only one piece of meat remaining, and luckily, it was a steak. She smiled, relieved and approached, but then that luck seemed to turn, exactly when she led her hands to said steak.

"It's the last time we go out to get useless nasty human food... Heard me! THE LAST TIME!"

Den shuddered. That voice... Just _that_ voice...

"B-b-b-but I need iiiiiiiiiit! Or I gonna exploooode!" squeaked a second one.

She held the steak tight against her chest and prepared to run, but before she could even move, that same squeaky voice let out a _happy_ scream, as a tiny figure glomped her, what naturally made her fall to the floor.

"Well done, Gir! Now take that _thing_ and let's get out of here once and for all!"

"Whaa? Forget it, I came first!" exclaimed Den, pushing away that weird green _dog_, that actually screamed _happily_ again as it fell over a pile of cans, bringing it down. She wasn't going to return empty-handed to her terrible aunt's evil lair. Besides, there wasn't anything nice about that little moody green man, and even if he _truly_ had any kind of exotic skin disease -that also seemed to make ears disappear-, it wasn't an excuse to be _that_ moody.

"Wait a minute... YOU!"

And once more, he was pointing at her, so shamelessly.

"Yes, yes, me! Please, sir, didn't you get your precious revenge already?"

"So? You are still a disgusting rat _AND_ you have stolen that stinky _piece of food_ that _I _was supposed to _TAKE_!"

"Sir..."

"AND STOP CALLING ME LIKE THAT! I AM ZIM! I AM ZIIIIIIM!"

Den receded, lifting an eyebrow. Now he was just sounding like a spoiled brat.

"Weeell nice to meet you ZIIIIIM but I already took this meat, thanks, bye!"

Then she started running frantically, having to dodge lots of people, and trying to ignore the yells behind her.

"YOU GET BACK HERE WITH OUR STINKY MEAT! I'M GOING TO DISINTEGRATE YOU, THEN I WILL REBUILD YOU AND DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE A FILTHY EARTH RAT LIKE YOU DESERVES TO BE SMASHED _TWICE_! I AM ZIIIIIM!"

Den kept running, faster and faster, without even wanting to turn. She could also hear the _dog_'s crazy screeches.

"Meat meat meat I want my meaaaaat!"

What kind of dog was it, anyway?

Some aisles later, she nearly bumped Kiki and Zal, who were leaving the sweets section with _bunches_ of marshmallows.

"W-what happened, Den? Did you get the steak? Why are you run...?"

"Let's go, let's go, LET'S GO!"

She practically threw them outside -after paying for the stuff, of course- and gave a last look inside, to check that the scary green man wasn't following her anymore. His _dog_ probably had gotten distracted with something else.

"Are you okay?" asked Zal worriedly.

"Now, yes..." panted Den, smiling in a _very_ odd way "Victory is mine"

Kiki lifted her both eyebrows, glaring at her, what made her look _incredibly_ clever.

"Sure... Let's go back to start your saccharine album, Zal!"

"Yes, let's go!"

Giggles, giggles, and more giggles. Den shrugged vaguely, with another tired smile, and followed them, as they left.

Meanwhile, in the cash register...

"Sausages, sausages, sausages, sausages, SAUSAGEEEEES!"

Zim was rolling his eyes. Even he himself couldn't believe how _extremely_ fast was Gir to change his mind. And at the same time, he was thinking in something else.

"You know what, Gir? Maybe, _just_ maybe I'm going crazy, but now that I saw that nasty rat closely... I have just realized that she has a _quite peculiar head_. I had seen something like that before... but where? WHERE?"

"I don't knooooow! Want sausages?"

"..."

**Hi, I am the bold text that tells you this has just ENDED owo**

**Also YAY! We have just unlocked two official characters' names (?)**

**If liked, review, will be good for my self-esteem :3**


	4. Test Stage IV

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!**_

Test Stage IV

It was starting to get dark. His pale face was practically stuck over the container's glass surface.

"6:21 PM... _Absolutely_ nothing... and so on..."

That damned experiment had become boring, irritating and now also pointless. He was willing to do anything, _anything_, to go home. Life itself had become so dull...

"Dad...?"

"THIS DOESN'T HAVE ANY SENSEEEEEEEEEEE! ...huh?"

"A-are you okay?"

"Oh... Hello, dear"

And right when he was about to lose his mind, there she was. That little brunette with great scared deer eyes.

"Sorry... I know you wanted me to stay with my aunt but... but..." she stammered.

"Hmm? What's the matter?"

Then she frowned determinedly and slammed her both hands over his desk, in another dramatic gesture.

"Dad, we have to talk"

He stared at her confusedly for some seconds.

"Sure... About what?"

"Ehm... Well... Whatever you want... Hum... How's work?"

He glared at the container, then back at her.

"Lame... And how's school?"

She shrugged.

"Fine, I guess"

"Good"

They silenced for a while.

"Dad... Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Do you think I'm... strange?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Of course you're not"

"Really?"

"Really"

"_Really_?"

"Why? Is that worrying you?"

She paused, looking away.

"Kinda..."

"Look, dear, if it has to do with your interests or anything like that then it's okay, nobody should judge you just by your likings, besides you are clever and nice and there isn't any reason to despise you, _even_ if you are _truly_ strange, there isn't anything wrong about it... as long as you don't hurt anyone..."

"It's not that serious, I was just feeling a little... excluded"

"What? Excluded? And why?" he exclaimed, suddenly disturbed.

"I'm not like the rest of the people, I... I... _make delusions_ to _battle boredom_ and I don't seem to fit in any group. That's why I think I'm like, excluded... That's why I think I have problems..."

He was still looking at her, now with sadness, and also deeply touched. Anyone would have thought that he was going to hug her, but instead of that, he seemed to snap.

"So? Who cares? Who _on earth_ cares if you're not like _them_? Huh?"

Den startled, quite surprised by that reaction.

"D-don't I have to socialize?"

"Not if that makes you feel _sick_! I want you to be happy, I want you to be content with yourself!"

"How can I? Face it, dad, I'm an _aberration_!"

"No, you're not! You are _unique_..."

"Dad... That's just a _gentle_ way to say the same thing"

And then, to surprise her even more, he stood up abruptly and leaned forward to face her.

"The same thing? The same thing! _HAH!_ That's what _they_ expect you to believe! To make you feel _INFERIOR_! And no matter of how _merciless_ they can be, DON'T LET THEM _DESTROY_ YOU! DON'T GIVE THEM THAT SATISFACTION! Heard me!"

She receded, slightly frightened by his completely spontaneous rampage.

"But... but..."

"NO BUTS!" he howled, to then return to the depressed tone "You still are young, Den... You still can be _someone_..."

"Dad..."

"It's not a bad thing to be unique, so stop thinking like that. Understood?"

"...are you sure that it's okay?"

"Of course. I wouldn't like you to change, anyway"

Den smiled, as her father approached and put one of his arms around her shoulders.

"So calm down, try to don't concentrate enough in your mind and start listening a bit more to your _spirit_"

"And... what if my spirit is troublesome?"

"You'll be fine, trust me. Just don't become one of them. _Never_"

She nodded, and then looked at the digital watch in her wrist, gasping briefly.

"Oh my, it's very late! I have to go already!"

"Then come on, I'll go with you... After all, this damned thing isn't going to change"

Once they left, the substance in the container turned phosphorescent.

And the next day, her spirit effectively aroused...

"C-come on! We have to walk faster now!"

"I know, I'm sorry"

"Why were you delaying, anyway?"

"I was just arranging some stuff"

Kiki tilted her head, staring closely at that wide smile, so unusual in Den's face.

"W-wow... It's the first time that I see you so glad"

"Oh, really?"

"Y-yes! Then did that talk with your dad help?"

"A lot!"

"T-that's good to know!"

Shortly afterwards, at school, the sickly sweet giggles returned.

"Look, Kiki!"

"Oh my, you did it!"

"Yes! My own saccharine album!"

"YAY! Can I see?"

Den was observing them, but at a prudent distance, in her comfy shadowy corner, next to the dumpster. There was no doubt, surely Zal's album was even _cuter_ than Kiki's one. To begin, it had a _fluffy_ missy pink cover, and then inside... A plague, a horrific plague of glitter hearts, stars, rainbows and other stuff that made Den shiver and go back to her business. She had gotten an album as well, and it was now open oven her knees, but what she was sticking over it was _terribly_ far of being something cute. However, she seemed to be quite amused, even though most of those pictures were enough _gruesome_ to cause anyone an irreversible trauma.

"Alert! Freak alert!"

She turned, recognizing that voice effortlessly. There he was again. That boy who had talked to her the first time, and who actually hadn't been precisely nice with her. Just as now.

"Good for you by detecting it! Now what about scanning the rest of the area and let me be? Huh?"

He was looking at her album out of the corner of his eye.

"Are you a homicidal in training now?" he inquired, perplexed.

"What? What kind of question is that?"

"I was wondering, since... Well, you seem to like collecting photos of _disemboweled_ things..."

"It's called _autopsy_, you ignorant!"

"Uhuh..."

"Ian! What are you doing now?"

Both turned, to see Zal approaching.

"Stop bothering her!" she nagged.

"It's okay, he wasn't" interrupted Den, who wasn't in the mood of bearing any pointless discussion.

Then Kiki came as well.

"W-what happened? W-what's that? Oh my, Den! Did you make a saccharine album too?"

"I'd rather say a nightmare fuel album" mumbled _Ian_, looking away.

"D-don't be so mean! It's not her fault to be _special_!" replied Kiki, what only made Den facepalm.

"Can we see it?" asked Zal kindly.

"Hum... I don't think you would like it..."

"W-why not? Come on!"

"Seriously, Kiki, it's not your kind of stuff"

"W-we know you're not like us but we'll still like you anyway!"

Den sighed deeply.

"All right, but don't say I didn't warn you..."

"L-let's seee... Oh... OH MY GOD!"

"What? What is it, Kiki? Huh? W-what the...?"

"Oh, come on! Doesn't anyone here know anything about the _Roswell_ incident?"

Then Ian popped up from nowhere again.

"The scandal of the _false _UFO in New Mexico?" he snickered.

"All right... I'll just pretend that I _didn't_ hear that" groaned Den.

"Whaa? Do you _really_ believe in those things? Oh God, I thought you were just plain strange but you're such a _genuine_ freak!"

"Ian! Stop!" restarted Zal, but Den silenced her once more with a short gesture.

"It doesn't matter. Seriously"

"Whatever... Better stay away from freaks, girls" said Ian, shrugging and walking away.

"A-are you sure it doesn't matter?" asked Kiki worriedly.

"I am"

The bell went off, as the kids went to their classrooms. Den was about to follow her group when Kiki stopped her, taking her by one of her wrists.

"Den... I'm afraid these things you like are going to get you into trouble. You should keep them to yourself"

"Well, if that means that this will turn me into a freak then bring it on!"

And so, she ran away frantically. Kiki just watched, shaking her head with a quite disapproval glance.

However, Den found something that she truly didn't expect after arriving to her classroom. The door was closed, and her exaggeratedly happy teacher was there, standing and leaning over it. But she wasn't looking happy. Her expression was rather upset. _Very_ upset.

"Den... Could we talk a second?"

"Hum... Sure...?"

"This way"

The woman took her hand and pulled her to a corner, still with that same cold stare.

"Now tell me... Do you want to be _popular_? To catch everyone's attention?"

"W-what?"

"Because there are better ways"

"I... I'm not getting this..."

"Someone has just told me about your _fondness_ towards... UFOs"

"Oh, that... So?"

The teacher lifted an eyebrow, almost nervously.

"I don't think you are understanding" she added "I mean sightings, abductions, aliens... That stuff"

"I know what that is. So?"

"HOW CAN YOU EVER ASK THAT?"

Den startled scaredly, although that rage attack just lasted like three seconds, and then the woman calmed down, almost instantly, what only scared her even more.

"Den, _darling_, you should know it, that's _not_ a good thing... It's... It's... _rubbish_"

"Excuse me, teacher, but don't you think that's a rude term?"

"Not if we are dealing with something _profane_!"

"Whaa? P-profane!"

"Didn't you know it? _Any_ kind of paranormal business is _strictly prohibited_ in this school!"

"W... Why?"

"That doesn't matter! I don't want to hear that you have been daydreaming with flying saucers or dissected aliens ever again! Understood?"

"At least tell me the reason!"

"I don't really know, the principal stated it _ages _ago or that's what I heard... and anyway who cares? It's a bad thing, just stop with that and start playing with _dolls_, for God's sake!"

"..."

It started to rain. Once the bell blared, everyone ran outside madly. Well, everyone but Den, who was just walking. Kiki was still inside with Zal, probably giggling and commenting how lovely were those damned hearts and rainbows in their albums. Den sighed. Well, everything had begun. She had just pulled the trigger of a lonely and undoubtedly misunderstood existence. She'd rather be a freak before resigning herself to have an entirely hypocritical clockwork smile in her face, just to hide how corrupted she would be from the inside, as the rest of all that _insane_ humanity.

...

"So? Have you confirmed it?"

"Yes, my master"

"HAH! I KNEW IT!"

"I already have encountered her a few times but, in my opinion, she doesn't seem to be any kind of menace"

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!"

"Hum... Master?"

"I KNEW IT ALL ALONG!"

"Master, please..."

"Even if she doesn't seem menacing for now, don't dare to lower your guard! She could _attack _ANYTIME!"

"But... What makes her so dangerous?"

"That... That... _THAT BIG HEADED EARTH WORM!_ ATTEMPTING TO EQUAL OUR ADVANCED TECHNOLOGY SO SHAMELESSLY!"

"What do you mean?"

"You have seen her, haven't you? It's _ridiculously_ noticeable! _He_ wasn't fleeing... HE WAS GETTING _PREPARED_!"

"I'm still unable to get this, master..."

"HE CREATED A _BEAST_! WITH HIS OWN _DNA_! BUT SHE'S SURELY MORE _STRONG_ AND LESS _SMART_ THAN HIM! LIKE ANY PERFECT _MINION_!"

"Are you talking about... a clone?"

"Clone? CLONE! NO WAY! That's a way too _refined_ word! That's what _you _could be, but _that_...THAT is such a _MONSTROSITY_!"

"He calls her Den"

"SEE? Even her name sounds LETHAL!"

"..."

"We have to destroy her. And then..."

A third voice slipped in.

"Eat some waaaaffles?"

"NO, GIR, GET THAT OUT OF HERE! Now... We have to destroy her and then..."

"Ehm... Master... Shouldn't we destroy _both_? The creation and her creator as well?"

"All right, all right, BUT STOP INTERRUPTING ME! We have to destroy them BOTH and then... then... AAARGH I LOST THE IDEA!"

**Indeed, he did :/**

**Also... Dib is so hard, like I have issues catching his personality e_e;**

**Oh well... If liked, review**

**Will be good for my self-esteem :3**


	5. Test Stage V

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!**_

Test Stage V

A bedroom in an attic means isolation. A locked door means isolation. A refuge under the blankets means isolation. A laptop means isolation. A web show with a weirdo talking about exorcisms... that's rather a _freak_ in her natural habitat.

"My partner has just told me that our unlucky victim has been possessed by a demonic _cow_! Whaa? Really? And now it's confirmed that it's a _very_ vengeful one!"

Den lifted an eyebrow. It was quite hard to find that believable, since the last thing she could imagine executing a possession was a cow. However, she couldn't deny that they might have _many_ reasons to be thirsty for revenge. Specially after eating a hamburger hours ago.

"Abandon this body, thing of hell! Don't make me..."

"...SAAAAAAAAUSAGES!"

She twitched, irritated. That damned TV. Even if the door was closed, she still could hear everything. The device was particularly loud that night. She normally didn't mind but now, just _now_, it was interfering with an _exorcism_. That was enough.

Meanwhile, in the lounge, aunt Gaz's eyes were practically popping out of her head, just by seeing that commercial.

"That's right! As part of our new branch's inauguration in the mall, we're going to launch our new and exclusive _pizza with sausages_!"

Kiki was sitting behind, playing with Hugo the elephant and another odd plush. Then Den came in, looking pretty annoyed.

"Kiki... Could you ask... _her_ to turn down the volume?"

"Shhh, not now. Pizza commercial"

"Oh..."

Den sighed frustratedly and went back to her bedroom. She had to remember that she had to buy headphones. Those damned pizza commercials. And that _eternally_ damned _pig_. She didn't even want to think in that. It only made the nausea return.

Kiki, on the other hand, was accustomed. She could easily pretend that there _wasn't_ any TV around. But this night would be different. Thist night, as almost always, fate had decided to be cruel.

"This _wonderfully_ new pizza will be on sale in... 30 minutes!"

Everyone in the house reacted. Gaz's eyes became even wider and shinier. Kiki startled, already beginning to feel fear. Den screeched, but it was just because the cow had levitation powers.

Shortly afterwards, Gaz turned, with an eerie crack, to Kiki, who knew perfectly what that meant and was already gulping.

"Go to get me one of those"

The little girl shivered, playing with her hands.

"B-but..." she stuttered, looking down "I-it's late already, s-something could happen to me!"  
"Don't be stupid. Murderers, kidnappers and _rapists_ don't go out at this time. Not _yet_. So don't question and go. Now"

"I-it's still d-dangerous!"

The woman rolled her eyes, getting more and more impatient.

"Then ask that _malformed being_ in the attic to go with you. If her ugliness doesn't work to frighten those _men_ that scare you, her _hyper_ and insane raving will do it"

"F-fine!"

"Now go before I eat you instead"

Kiki ran away, knowing how _impossible_ was to take that as a _joke_.

"D-den! Deeeeeen!" she shouted, knocking the door, until she opened it a bit.

"What?"

"C-come on, we have to go to the mall!"

"To the MALL? It's eight o'clock, it's dark as hell outside!"

"That's why I want you to come! P-pleaaaaaase!"

"Oh no, I'm not coming and you shouldn't go either!"

"Y-you know? It's not like I decided it!"

"Why don't you just go and tell her that you can't?"

"..."

"Kiki?"

"That wasn't funny. Now come!"

"I'm. Not. Going. Out. For. A. Disgusting. Pizza. With. Sausages"

"Hum... Oh well... I guess I'll have to go alone..." moaned Kiki, walking away.

"Don't worry! You'll be safe if you go through the subway"

"Yes, yes... the subway..."

Then she stopped, next to the stairs, and turned, to make sure that Den had left the door of her bedroom half-opened.

"I guess I'll have to deal with the zombie crocodile alone!"

And then, just as she expected, she came back immediately.

"W-what?"

"Oh! Were you _still_ listening? I'm sorry!"

"What did you say?"

Kiki shook her head, simulating anguish.

"Just something Zal told me the other day, but I don't think you care"

"Well, depends. Did you mention a... zombie crocodile or I'm wrong?"

"Indeed, I did. I thought you knew about that monster! I mean, it lives in the subway"

"Reaaaally? An undead reptile in a subway, makes perfect sense"

"So does a demonic cow, right?"

"First, it was a _vengeful_ cow. Second, they were in a farm. While there's no water in subway stations, so that would have sounded more logical if you would have said that it lives in the sewers instead"

"Think what you want but that zombie crocodile is real! Zal told me she saw it lots of times! And she has friends who saw it too!"

"And what's so worrying about that? Are you afraid to be eaten or something?" snickered Den.

"Stop mocking, I'm truly scared!"

"For the evil cow's sake, Kiki, there's no zombie crocodile in the subway!"

"How can you be so sure? You never took it!"

"I did when I moved here..."

"During the day! It's not the same thing!"

"Seriously, Kiki, I thought you were smarter!"

"What's so wrong? Can't I be afraid of being devoured before arriving to the mall? Huh?"

Den facepalmed, taking the tiny girl's hand and walking downstairs.

"Look, I'm going to go with you and you'll see there's nothing like that zombie crocodile. You'll see!"

"Good idea! You could frighten it if it appears!"

"..."

"I-I was just kidding... Thank you!"

"Don't mention it..."

And since Den was entirely distracted in that zombie crocodile matter, she couldn't even notice that Kiki was giggling naughtily behind her.

Time later, both were at the subway station.

"Gnnnnn! W-why is the train delaying s-so much?"

"I don't know, maybe the crocodile ate it"

"D-don't be sarcastic! It confuses me!"

"Whatever... We have been here for a while and I didn't see anything around"

"Y-you fool! The zombie crocodile never attacks in the station!"

"Maybe because it doesn't friggin' exist?"

"A-are you going to leave so soon?"

"Forget it, here comes the train"

The girls entered and sat down, Kiki still pretending to be scared.

"I can't believe we're doing this for a pizza" mumbled Den tiredly, resting her head against the seat.

"Cheer up, you could see the crocodile!"

"For a twentieth time... and I'm counting them... there's no crocodile"

At least the journey would be long, enough long for a nap. So Den closed her eyes and...

"Whaa? Really? 30 seconds?"

"Yeah! That cursed commercial was wrong and they didn't even bother in fixing it!"

"Oh man, that must suck..."

"And how! I went to the mall in vain! They already sold them all!"

She startled abruptly, but before she could stand up, those guys had descended, the doors had closed, and the vehicle had started to move.

"Kiki... Kiki, did you hear that?"

"N-not noooow I'm trying to s-sleeep..."

"They sold them all... They sold them all!"

"W-what?"

"We have to get out of here in the next station and go home!"

"A-are you kidding me? We can't return empty-handed and you know it!"

"Oh, come on! We already tried!"

"N-no! Wait!"

However, after the subway stopped, Den ran outside frantically, so Kiki had to follow her.

"Weeeell... Nooow where are we?" asked Den, looking around, once they were back in the streets.

"T-that doesn't matter! We must get that pizza!" cried Kiki, waving her tiny arms desperately.

"Could you forget the pizza already? We have to go home!"

"Not until we get it! At least a normal one, and then we could buy sausages and spread them over it!"

"Yeah, sure... Both will pass flying to then land next to us in five seconds"

"R-r-reaaaally?"

"My God, Kiki, I was being...! Huh?"

"What?"

Den turned, while Kiki was doing the same, right when that luminous flying thing was enough close.

"PIIIIIZZAAAAAA WITH SAAAAAAUSAAAAAGEEEEES!"

"GAAAAAAAH SLOW DOWN GIIIIIIR!"

And then it disappeared, as fast as it came, followed by a noisy crash.

The girls were still there, astonished, until Den reacted with a violent twitch.

"Geez! Did you see that? Did you see _THAT_?" she squeaked.

"Yes, I did!" exclaimed Kiki happily "I-it was the neighbor! And seems that he bought one of those pizzas with sausages! We could ask him kindly to give it to us!"

"..."

"W-what? Wasn't that what you were t-thinking?"

"The _dog_! The dog was FLYING! _FLYING_!"

"Uhuh... So?"

Den frowned, to then take the tiny girl by her both shoulders and shake her _insanely_ fast.

"GREEN _SHORT_ MAN IN A GREEN _TALKING_ DOG THAT FLIES! FLIES, GODDAMNIT!"

"S-s-s-sooo? Y-y-you are f-f-frightening meee!"

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT! It's not any delusion, Kiki! It's not ANY delusion! I wasn't losing my mind as that ignorant of the psychiatrist said!" shouted Den, now sounding ridiculously glad.

"Aaaah just let's go for the pizza already!" groaned Kiki.

Then they followed the smoke trace, that led them to a dumpster, where they had landed.

"I... will... guess... _Tuna_?"

"Noooo! Cheese!"

"..."

"E-excuse me..."

Both _master_ and _minion_ looked up.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT? GO AWAY! GET OUT OF HERE YOU NOSY EARTH MONKEY!"

"E-eek! I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" moaned Kiki nervously, shivering.

"I like that earth monkey! Can we take it hooome? Pleaaaaaase?"

"No, Gir, you already have your damned pizza, SHUT UP!"

"Y-yes, that! I-I'm sorry, sir, b-but... C-could you..."

But before she could finish, a high scream, that almost sounded like a _seagull_, interrupted her. And then Den jumped over Zim and kicked him in the jaw.

"AAAAH! YOU!"

"SILENCE!" she snapped "You... you... YOU _SPACELING_!"

"W-what? WHAT?"

"Ohohohoho YES! You can't fool me anymore with your skin disease, Mister _Cranky Neighbor_!"

"What the hell are you talking about! GET AWAY!"

"I said SILENCE!"

Then she lifted a hand, in which she was holding one of his fake eyes, and now she was shaking it in front of his face.

"What are you going to say about _this_? Huh? _Huh_? Prosthesis? Contacts, maybe?"

"GIVE ME THAT!"

"What about your hair? Is it real, at least?"

She was going to try to pull it out, but he pushed her violently first, tossing her to the floor.

"Even having a _brain_, you're one of the most _defective_ things I ever SEEN!"

"AND YOU... wait, what?"

"I don't even know why am I worrying! I could find a _pig_ more dangerous than you!"

He stood up and, before she could get up, he pushed her again, making her drop the fake eye, so he took it and put it back in his face with a snicker.

"GIR! Let's get out of here, NOW!"

He was walking away, when Den stood up quickly, to then run towards him and put her leg on his way. Effectively, he didn't even notice it and tripped with it, falling noisily to the floor.

"I truly doubt a pig can do that!" she exclaimed, and then started to laugh.

"CURSE YOU, FILTHY CREATURE! CURSE YOUUUUU!"

"Ooooh sure that sounds menacing! I'm so so scared now!"

"AAARGH YOU WILL PAY!"

"I WANNA SEE YOU TRY IT!"

The following seconds, they just slapped and kicked each other incessantly, with some furious shrieks.

"GIR! I NEED REINFORCEMENT HERE!"

Silence.

"GIR?"

In that moment, both remembered that they weren't completely alone and turned. Indeed, there was Gir, handing the pizza to Kiki with a grin.

"O-oh! T-thank you!" she said joyfully, taking it and walking away.

"GIR! WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?"

"I liked that earth monkey!" moaned the little robot.

"YOU were the one who made me LEAVE the base to go to that STUPID mall, then HAVE to WAIT in that STUPIDLY LONG LINE for that STUPID pizza and now you just GIVE it to that STUPID HUMAN?"

"..."

"GIR?"

"But but but I liked that earth monkeeeeeey!"

"!"

Somewhere else, and a while later, Gaz was eating her pizza with sausages in front of the TV.

"I-it was really easy! You were right, there's nothing to be afraid of!"

And there was Kiki, telling everything happily and hugging Hugo so tight that his head seemed to be about to pop out.

"Although..." she added, hesitating "I-I think I forgot something... I-isn't there something missing?"

The creepy woman shrugged.

"If it's not important then it doesn't matter"

Meanwhile, at the subway station...

"What's going on here? Leave that poor kid alone! You little bully! Didn't your parents teach you to be polite? Do you have anything against _green_ children? Freaky brat! I'm going to call the police!"

And so, Den continued imitating the squeaky voice of the annoying lady that had made her give up and go away, letting the damned alien go.

"Stupid blind ignorant adults..." she groaned to herself, turning to the tunnel "And why is the train delaying so much?"

And then she heard a deep noise, coming from the depths. But it didn't sound like the train. It was rather a _growl_. Den's eyes widened, as she looked everywhere, and the cold sweat began to slip over her forehead.

"Hello?"

Another growl blared, and an enormous figure emerged from the darkness.

"A-anybody!"

A really really huge crocodile.

**And then lights went off :D**

**If liked review! xD**

**Will be truly appreciated :3**


	6. Test Stage VI

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!**_

Test Stage VI

"This is getting... so so so _so_ hard... I don't know if I'll be able to keep withstanding this... This... cursed mindless society and _all_ those _warped_ smiles... Gnnnn! Makes my organs writhe in agony... What? What the hell am I doing here? This is the worst place to live! Like a giant trash can! If I ever see another of those damned and disgustingly happy kids again..."

Some shy knocks against the restroom cubicle's door, and then Kiki's voice, interrupted the monologue.

"Zal? Are you done already?"

...

The door opened. There was a desk, there was a displeased police officer and there was a girl with a wild hairstyle and an annoyed expression sitting in a corner.

"Is this your kid?"

And then, a while later, he was listening to the ridiculously long and exaggerated story of his -according to the cop's words, _insane_- daughter, her little adventure in the subway and her -again quoting the guy, _psychotic_- raving about an, apparently, undead crocodile.

After apologizing an umpteenth time, he sighed briefly and took Den's hand, as both left.

Maybe some years before, he would have asked her lots of things. Maybe he would have wanted to know if she had kept any proof of the crocodile's existence. Maybe he would have begged her to let him show that proof to someone else. But now, now that he was a gloomy adult, whose youth had been violently consumed by the _horrific _reality, plus tons of _merciless_ therapy, his perspective was _terrifyingly_ different.

"Hum... Are you... Are you mad?" she muttered, sounding quite anguished.

"Not really. I rather would like to know what the hell were you doing there, in a dark and filthy subway station _and_ in the middle of the night, because it's _obvious_ that zombie crocodiles don't exist"

"Well, actually, that was what I thought before the damned thing attempted to swallow me"

"Den..."

"I know, I know, shutting up now! Anyway... I was going to the mall with Kiki to get a pizza for aunt Gaz"

He rolled his eyes tiredly.

"Had to be Gaz..."

"I have had worse nights so I doesn't matter that much"

"No, dear, seriously, I have no idea of what were I thinking when I left you with her. I shall get a new apartment soon, in any better neighborhood, so that we can move once and for all"

Den smiled. That sounded so good, so comforting. She had been wanting to leave that disgusting city since...

But suddenly, her hopeful thoughts were blocked by the image of her neighbor. The _alien_ neighbor.

"NO!"

"...huh?"

"I-I mean, what's the hurry? It's not so bad to live here, you know?"

"I... see?"

How the heck could she forget that? There was a _space monster_ living in front of her, and now she was sure, it wasn't a _hallucination_, neither any guy in a cheap costume. It was real, _freakin'_ real, and she didn't know anything about him yet, what clearly meant an _uncomfortable_ disadvantage. No, no, no, she couldn't leave, she had stuff to do. Besides, how could she resist the possibility of being taken seriously for the first time in her life?

Nevertheless, she knew perfectly that her father wouldn't understand any of those reasons. So, to not seem suspicious, she decided to lie.

"I... I made a friend at school! And she lives around here..."  
"You wouldn't like to separate from her, right?"

"Right..."

"Well, I'll try to find a house near here then" he sighed, with a slight smile.

"Thanks"

"It's okay, dear, you have a friend and that's all that matters"

Later, in the park...

"S-sure, Miss Dandelion! I'd like some cookies too!"

Speaking about friends, there they were, Zal and Kiki, the well-known _lolita_ duo whose unstoppable sweetness was enough to cause diabetes.

"I'm sorry! I couldn't get _real_ cookies this time!"

"I-it's okay, everything's better with _plastic_!"

"Good to know!"

Giggles.

"Hey, Kiki..."

"Yes?"

"Isn't that your _cousin_?"

Both turned.

"Oh my, I-I can't believe it! She has just left the attic to come to the park!"

"Indeed, isn't it strange?"

"W-well, let's go to see what she's doing!"

"All right!"

Den was sitting in a bench with her laptop. Both Zal and Kiki approached from behind, staring at the article that she was reading, what inevitably left them perplexed.

_In Speculative Fiction stories dealing with the extraterrestrial and otherworldly, the beings from beyond the veil are rarely friendly, and if they are it's usually a pretense so they can eat us or make us mommies less than consensually. The reason is that it makes good drama, it exploits humanity's latent fear of the unknown with implacable and indecipherable menaces._*

"Eeerr... Den?"

"Huh? Oh... Hi, Kiki"

"W-what are you doing?"

"Aunt Gaz told me that my presence was making her sick and ordered me to go out so that she could take a break from my disturbing stuff"

"I-it's good to breath some fresh air anyway, b-but was it so necessary to bring the computer too?"

"I'm not surfing just for fun, mind you"

"T-then what are all those science fiction sites?"

"For now, my only source of information about aliens"

"Oh, you..."

"It's not like I want to bother you while you're... working, but..." interrupted Zal "Wouldn't you like to play with us?"

"No, thanks"

"Oh well, as you want"

"H-hey, Zal, wanna go for some ice cream?"

"Sounds good! Go, I'll catch you later!"

"O-okee dokee!"

Right after Kiki went away, Zal sat down next to Den and sighed tiredly. The _freaky_ brunette, meanwhile, was still focused in her alien research.

"How the hell do you put up with her _every day_?"

Den startled and turned.

"W-what?"

"_That_ girl, Kiki... Don't you find her _irritating_ too?"

Her eyes widened, in an astonished expression. Indeed, it was Zal. The one who was talking so harshly was Zal.

"Is this a... joke?"

"Does it seem that I'm joking?"

"No, but... Hold on, aren't you supposed to be the _bestest_ friends? I know I'm not very bright at the friendship matter but that didn't sound precisely friendly"

Zal snickered.

"Bestest friends? Seriously?" she inquired.

"Everyone in school knows that, even the dude in the dumpster"

"Well, well, well, that's good to know! Although I'm sure that I'm going to get a serious brain damage if I continue with this"

Den lifted an eyebrow, as she rubbed her chin.

"Sooooo let me get this straight: You dislike Kiki but _still_ stick with her?"

"Exactly. Wow... Who would have thought you would be _so_ clever?"

"And who would have thought you would be so fool? How can you pretend to be the best friend of someone you can't stand? Look! Sounds senseless even when _I_ say it!"

Then Zal sighed and looked down.

"Well... I guess my parents would like to know that I have a friend"

Then Den silenced for some seconds, like processing what she have said and trying to get a smart answer.

"But... But there are better ways! Haven't you tried to find a _true_ one? Like someone with your same way of thinking, your same interests and all that stuff?"

Zal looked back at her, with a quite weird cold stare in her face.

"_Where_, Den? Where am I going to find something like that when the whole filthy school is full of _exceedingly_ happy automatons? I can hardly see those _things_ as kids!"

"Calm down! There are lots of students, there _has_ to be a _normal_ one somewhere"

"I wouldn't be so hopeful anyway"

"Whatever, that wasn't my real point. If you don't like my little cousin then you should tell her the truth and stop lying!"

"I would but... I don't think she would believe me"

"She would! Trust me, she's not _so_ naive..."

"Think it. If I tell her that right after talking with _you_ while she was absent, who do you think will she blame?"

"..."

"Oh well... What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"

"You have a pretty sick mentality..."

"Look who's talking!"

"I-I'm baaack!"

Both turned, to see Kiki bringing three sherbets with her.

"S-since you didn't come I returned and now j-just look! S-seems that you both are getting along!"

"Hehe! I don't think so!" they replied in unison, to then frown and poke each other.

"A-all right, all right, I got it!" giggled Kiki, as Zal got up.

"What time is it?" she asked.

"H-hum... 6 pm, I-I think"

"Oh my! Really? Then we have to go, we're going to miss the _cheery pony_ movie!"

"R-right! L-let's go! See you later, Den!"

"Yes, _babai_!"

Den watched them leave, narrowing her eyes. _That_ Zal...

"So? How was your Saturday afternoon?"

"Fine! My research has been advancing!"

"_Research_?"

"Indeed! You know? It's kinda difficult to get good articles about aliens on the internet!"

"Huh? Aliens? I thought you preferred to _play_ exorcist"

"I know, I know, but some certain events came up and... HEY! I wasn't playing!"

"Den... I love your _imaginative_ mind, I really do, but... Wouldn't you like to read about _real_ stuff instead?"

"That's _boring_! Don't you find all those occult things that mankind always ignores more interesting?"

Silence.

"...dad?"

Suddenly, he started to _laugh_. At first, it was just an imperceptible chuckle, but then it turned into an _eerie_ guffaw.

"Ah... dear..." he murmured, once he stopped "I'm sorry... I was having another _flashback_..."

Then he bent down to pet her head.

"It has been happening a lot recently" he added.

Den just stared at him with a worried, scared, lovely, and above all, _almost _innocent glance. Actually, she was looking like an _authentic _little girl.

"Are you sure you're okay, _daddy_?"

He laughed again, but this time gently.

"I was just remembering a kid... A kid who used to think the same as you"

"Whaa? Really?"

"He did _everything _to make his classmates realize that there was an alien trying to take over the world among them"

"OH MY! And what happened? Did he _win_?"

"That's what you would like to hear, huh?"

"Well..."

"The truth is that there was _no_ alien"

"I knew it! I knew that... wait, what?"

"It was just a poor hysterical dude with a skin disease"

"But... What about the kid?"

"He had mental issues. _Serious_ mental issues. It was hard as hell to get rid of them, and once he did, he got to understand that he had wasted a great part of his life chasing a _delusion_ like a moron"

"Delusion... That's what Doctor Holzbauer had told me!"

"You could be experiencing _those_ issues then. There should be a term to refer to them, like _Alien Invasion Syndrome_ or something like that"

"And is that... bad?"

"Verily"

"Oh..."

"But don't worry, it's not so late for you yet, I mean, at least you have a friend"

"Friend?"

"The one you told me about earlier!"

"Oh, yes! _That _friend!"

"So... I know this might be _complicated_, but anyway, try to forget this _harmful delusional obsession _and concentrate in more _important_ things"

"All... All right..."

"I would like to meet your friend someday, by the way"

"Sure... _She_ is a bit harsh, but you probably will like her..."

**DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUUUN...**

**Already know, review if liked X3**

**ALSO:**

***Taken from TV Tropes, since I couldn't find a better description for the "Aliens Are Bastards" topic**


	7. Test Stage VII

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!**_

_**Also, I'm sorry by not including official characters in this episode... Don't kill me guys!**_

_**Well, excepting of one... (Read the last bit and you'll know what I mean XD)**_

Test Stage VII

Once again, it was raining. Instead of going outside to get wet and dirty like _savage creatures_, the children stayed indoors, as the dreadful school rules had stated. And even though all of them were obedient, maybe _too much_, most of the students had been stuck to the windows, sighing sadly.

Luckily, since she was a hermit by nature, Den wasn't so affected about that. She was reading a book, sitting comfortably in the hallway between a pair of vending machines.

"I hate the rain"

She turned abruptly, to see what she somehow expected. Zal was standing next to her, and leaning against one of the devices with a soda can.

"Do you?" she added.

Den shrugged.

"I don't mind... Where's Kiki, by the way? You didn't... pull her into a pool full of leeches... right?"

"Whaa? Leeches? Who do you think I am? The devil?"

"I wouldn't know, you already fooled me before, so you could be _anything_"

"You have a point, little paranoid, but anyway, I just asked her to go for some _freetzdoomps_"

"Oh, all- WHAT? What the heck is that?"

"Some kind of snack"

"Are you kidding? There isn't any _eatable _thing with _that_ name!"

Zal grinned.

"Exactly"

"Oh, you... While it's easier to just tell her how unbearable she is"

"At least I have a friend"

"Yeah, sure! Come on, that's not a friend! That's a _lapdog_!"

"So? What would be the difference?"

"...do you _really_ know what friendship is?"

"Of course... I think"

Den rolled her eyes and approached a little.

"Just for that reason I was considering a _proposal_" she muttered, as Zal finally looked at her, with a rather surprised expression. It was obvious that those words had awakened her curiosity. She actually came closer to not miss a detail.

"Proposal? What kind of proposal?"

"Your family wants you to have friends. Right?"

"Right"

"Well, my family regards my interest towards paranormal stuff as unhealthy and they would like to see me more focused in making friends"

"And this involves me _how_?"

"You need friends and I need friends too"

"So?"

"We _both_ need the _same_ thing"

"So?"

Den twitched. Something seemed to break _inside_ her, causing a crack around the spine zone.

"FRIENDS, Zal. Shouldn't WE become FRIENDS?"

Everything silenced for a moment. Zal stared longly at the brunette, who was still inevitably twitching, and once she got to process the sentence, she nearly burst out laughing, but reached to contain herself at the last minute.

"Me... and _you_?"

Den just nodded.

"Friends? _Seriously_?"

"I'm not getting this, what's so funny?"

"It's okay if you want to _ruin_ your image but I would like to keep being the cute one who everyone loves. And face it, how will everyone love me if they see me with a freak?"

"SHUT UP! I'M NOT A FREAK!"

"Yes, you are! Who else would be observing a ridiculous book with a _swimming giraffe_ with so much fascination?"

"W-whaa? GIRAFFE? IT'S _NESSIE_, IGNORANT FOOL!"

"Well, HOW was I supposed to know the _giraffe_'s name?"

"GAAAH! IT'S NOT A GIRAFFE!"

"Whatever, it still makes you a FREAK!"

"At least I'm not a SPOILED JERK!"

"AH! RETRACT! RETRACT NOW!"

"MAKE ME!"

Shortly afterwards, a morbid and needlessly gory fight had begun. Well, actually, it was morbid and needlessly gory in the eyes of the fighters, because everyone else just saw a pair of hysterical little girls slapping and kicking each other incessantly. Luckily, or maybe unluckily, their teacher arrived quickly. And then they were taken to the classroom, that was still _empty_. The empty classroom of doom... The most recognizable sign of a possibly endless scolding.

"All right, ladies..." sighed the woman, already unable to hide how irritated she was, mainly because, _again_, Den was involved "Could anyone tell me what happened out there?"

Den was experiencing a _frantic _need of shouting, shouting about how false and truly horrible was Zal, how deadly sick she was of being called a freak when she was just unique, how much she knew that Zal had been wanting to provoke her since the very beginning, how much she was asking for it...

But then she remembered Doctor Holzbauer's clever words. It was absolutely pointless to raise her voice, that only would have made her seem _more_ insane. It was better to talk calmly. However, before she could even breath to then speak, Zal interrupted her.

"_She _started everything, teacher! And just because she disapproves my _friendship _with her little _cousin_!" she _whined_.

The brunette startled abruptly. What the hell had she just said?

"Den, Den, Den... We all know everyone loves Zal and no one _notices _you, but that's not a reason to _hurt _her"

"What? WHAT? For the demonic cow's sake, that's the most stupid reason I ever heard! Who do you think I am? Huh? Besides, she was the one who began to act harshly in the first place!"

"ENOUGH! I have heard enough, little _psychopath_, if you're not going to be nice with others then I'm not going to be nice with you, and if I ever see you _attacking _anyone else, I will call the _asylum_!"

Den silenced immediately. That word. Just _that _word. The very idea of being wrapped in a straitjacket, to then be taken away and later confined in any eerie room full of _genuine _psychopaths, made her shiver.

"I'm sorry, Zal" added the teacher, returning to her disgustingly sweet one "I promise this won't happen again, and if it ever happens, there will be _terrible_ consequences for Den! Trust me!"

"O-okay" replied Zal, simulating an anguished shyness "Can I leave already?"

"Sure, both can, that's all!"

"Thank you!"

After smiling kindly a fourth time, Zal stood up and walked away, along with Den, who still had a quite shocked glance, as the teacher stared at her closely, tilting her head in an attempt of reading the title in the cover of the book that she was still holding.

"Cryp... Crypto... Cryptozoology... Cryptozoology? I truly hope it's not one of those _things _with photographs of swimming giraffes in them, Den! I'm warning you!"

Some moments after, back in the hallways...

"You should know that your weak point is terribly exposed"

"Could you leave me alone, already? I think I had enough for now!"

"You are a very very _very _effusive person. You easily get swept up by your feelings, or rather by your temper..."

"It's not my fault, you know? I don't get mad so often... In fact, I am pretty calm, but sometimes there are nasty persons, persons like _you_, that make me lose control"

"Could it be because of your... frustration?"

"W-what? W-who told you about that? Huh? HUH?"

"Kiki did"

"Oh... Kiki..."

"She told me that you are sad and also very worried, since you are afraid of going crazy"

"Well, that... That's a bit personal... I shall say something similar in return"

"Huh?"

"You think that your parents don't appreciate you, don't you..."

Zal stopped.

"Why?"

"You seem to be very interested in making friends because that's what they would like. You want them to see what you can do, you want them to feel _proud_..."

"How... How... How the hell did you know that?"

"My father makes me feel like that sometimes"

"I see..."

"But I don't blame him, it wasn't his choice to have a freak as daughter..."

"All right, stop with that before I feel sorry for you"

"And speaking about that, my psychiatrist once told me that talking always works. Why don't you try talking with your family?"

"..."

"Zal?"

Zal was looking down, and embracing herself.

"They wouldn't listen... They... never listen to me..."

Den frowned slightly, but not by annoyance. Actually, it was simple _stupefaction_. Some moments ago she would have strangled her, but now... Seeing her like that was making her feel _bad_. Who knew, anyway? Maybe she was just... misunderstood. Maybe just as _her_.

"I would"

"Huh?"

"I would listen to you"

"W-what? Seriously?"

"As soon as you stop being so rude"

"Do you truly think it's that easy? What if I ask you to stop being so paranoid?"

"I'm not paranoid! Those _scouts _had it coming! How the hell was I supposed to know that those were Halloween costumes and they weren't _martians_? Besides I swear I had heard one say he _disliked _this planet!"

"And... I got lost, what are you trying to _prove _now?"

Den facepalmed, to then slip her hand all over her forehead.

"Okay, maybe I am _a bit_ paranoid..."

"And your inferiority complex, don't forget your inferiority complex"

"All right, enough with that"

"I'm just being honest"

"For your information, you have flaws too. _Lots_. So you're in no position to bash others so openly"

Silence...

Den was expecting an even more cynical answer, but to her surprise, Zal smiled, in a rather _nice _way.

"Well... Then I guess we both have problems, right?" she said.

"Not feeling like agreeing with you but, what the hell, yes"

"Yet, it's absolutely inconceivable to establish any kind of friendship with you"

"_HOLY SCOUT MARTIANS_! Just tell me what's your point!"

"Okay, okay! Suspense breaker... What about forming an alliance?"

"Whaa? Alliance?"

"I help you to overcome your _psychotic_ fear towards nonexistent aliens and you help me to become a better person. But nobody, and I repeat, NOBODY, must know about this"

"If you can..."

"Huh? Are you defying me?"

"I'm just saying" snickered Den, starting to walk away "Since I got to _knock down_ like _five_ psychiatrists..."

"Ooooh we'll see, Den! We'll see!"

"Yeah, sure... See you tomorrow, I guess"

And with that phrase, Den disappeared in the horizon, watched closely by Zal.

"She seems to be strong after all" she whispered to herself "Or at least on the inside... on the very very _very_ deep inside"

Suddenly, something seemed to shake beneath a bunch of bushes. Zal turned quickly.

"Oh! It's okay! You don't have to hide anymore!"

With a joyful squeak, a small purple thing with _moose _horns popped up, to then float towards her, who was laughing tenderly.

"I'm sorry, fellow, I delayed more than what I supposed"

The little being just kept squeaking and _rubbing_ against her face like a kitty.

"All right, all right! Good to know you forgave me! Now let's go home, before it starts raining again. Our almighty master is waiting..."

And so, Zal went away as well.

Meanwhile, in the school hallways, Kiki was turning everywhere with a cardboard bag between her hands.

"H-hello? Zal? I-I brought the freetzdoomps!"

**THE FREAKIN' END**

**Well, rather "To be continued", how could I end this here? e.e;**

**Also...**

**Tasty, revelations are tasty OWO**

**Review if liked, helps my self-esteem! XD**

**And from now I'm going to take suggestions, so if anyone has anything in mind... GO NUTS! 8D**


	8. Test Stage VIII

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!**_

Test Stage VIII

It was starting to get dark. The last kid already had left the dreadful school, leaving it completely deserted. Well, not completely, since the insanely happy Miss Teacher was still there, heading to the most terrifying and awful room in the whole place, located in the deepest hallways, where everything was even more sinister. The principal's office...

If the ambiguous blackness, the narrowness and the constant cracking of the old furniture and the broken door weren't scary enough, there was _always_ a cold breeze, even when there wasn't _any_ trace of wind in the rest of the building. It had come from _nowhere_.

"Eeerr... Excuse me..."

Dead silence.

"Hello? Mister Clockwork?"

Then a figure popped up from under the desk, what nearly caused the poor woman a heart attack.

"SQUEEEEEEEE!"

"At last! Welcome, Miss Teacher! Please, take a seat"

"O-okay..."

However, the principal wasn't so intimidating as the office seemed to warn. Just as the rest of the staff in that school, he was grinning gladly. But there was something different in his grin. Something that made it look cynical, or rather _demonic_.

"So? Don't keep wasting time and tell me!" he continued "I want to know if those rumors were true"

"R-rumors?" stammered the teacher nervously.

"Come on, you know what I mean! Rumors about _violence_ in my _happy_ school..."

"Oh... O-oh! That!"

"Yes, that"

"Well, it was just a little quarrel, nothing to worry about!"

"No-no miss! That's how things start, as insignificant matters, and then we all find ourselves running from an atomic bomb"

"Oooooooh! Right! You're absolutely right, sir!"

"Of course I am. And for that reason, I would like to know what kind of _psychotic_ brat started this little quarrel"

"In that case... It was Den, sir"

"You know that I don't have time or interest to know the names of all those maggots. Details!"

"She's one of the most recent students in my class. A hysterical troublemaker obsessed with tons of bizarre things"

"Bizarre...?"

"See it by yourself, I took this from her locker"

Miss Teacher handed him a small book, as he proceeded to examine it.

"_Across the gulf of space, minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic" _he read, aloud_ "Regarded this earth with envious eyes, and slowly and surely drew their plans against us"_

Then he looked back at the teacher, lifting his both eyebrows.

"Aliens, huh?"

The woman just nodded, frowning slightly. The principal, on the other hand, was smiling again, in a even more _sadistic_ way. It was a genuine _murderous_ grin.

"_Membrane_..."

"Sir?"

Then he punched the desk noisily.

"I KNEW IT! I knew that I'd have to deal with that _family_ again! BECAUSE _DESTINY_ SAID SO!"

"S-s-s-sir? What are you saying?"

"That boy... It was such a challenge to _dominate_ him, but after years of effort, I got to make him _work_ correctly"

"Boy? What boy?"

"Remember that lunatic who nearly caused the end of the world as we know it, to apparently stop an alien that didn't _even_ exist and it was all in his screwed up mind?"

"Oh, yes... How to forget that..."

"Well, he's NOT a threat anymore! My almighty boarding school _fixed_ him! And it was all thanks to ME! So if I did it with him then I'll be able to do the same with his repugnant _offspring_!"

"Wow, sir! I hadn't seen you so _truly_ glad since ages ago!"

"BECAUSE NOTHING MAKES ME HAPPIER THAN ERADICATING MADNESS!"

And while Mister Clockwork was letting out an old-fashioned _evil_ laugh, very far from there, a cute little girl was almost arriving to her home, hopping joyfully all over the sidewalk and humming a lovely song.

"I am the lady and mistreeeess! You all are bastaaaards! Worship me, or I'll stab your eyes till you bleed! I am the lady and mistreeeeeeeess!"

Well, maybe not so cute. It was Zal, after all.

"You know what, Minimoose? Our master is more stupid than what I supposed"

"Meep!"

"I mean, what on _Irk_ made him think that the puny Den was any kind of lethal bioweapon? She's just another pathetic earth larva! And nothing else!"

"Mee..."

"We could be destroying this planet already... Why, oh WHY is he taking so long?"

She stopped, to then knock the door.

"INTRUDER!" howled a squeaky voice from inside.

"It's me, Gir..." she sighed.

"Ehm... INTRUDEEEEER!"

"It's ME, Gir. ZAL"

"INTRUDER INTRUDER INTRUDEEEEER!"

Zal facepalmed.

"NOW LISTEN TO ME... I mean... TACOS! I HAVE TACOS!"

"..."

Silence.

"Gir?"

Then a noise began to blare inside. A motor. A _jet_ motor.

"G-Gir?"

"TAAAAQUIIIIIIITOOOS!"

The door opened quickly and the little robot glomped her, so _strongly _that she fell, slamming her nape against the street.

"TAQUITOS TAQUITOS TAQUIIITOS!"

"GIR! GET OFF! THERE ARE NO TACOS!"

"W-whaa?"

"No tacos. Get off. Now"

"Aaaaw... Okee dokee!"

Zal sighed once more and got up, to finally enter, dragging Gir and Minimoose with her.

"I'm home, my master!"

"SHUSH!"

"Huh?"

Almost popping up from nowhere, Zim ran towards the door and slammed it, as he glared to the girl, who was still perplexed.

"...master?"

"I said SHUSH!"

"B-but..."

"Don't talk like that so loud! Humans don't refer to others as their 'masters'!"

"Ahem... There isn't any human around at the moment"

"No... But _that_ thing..."

He was now observing a chihuahua through the window, with a death stare in his face. The dog just scratched its ear, what made him shudder and close the curtain.

"All right, we're _safe_ now..."

Zal nodded, as her pretty pale skin, her pretty blue eyes and her pretty black pigtails vanished, and she turned into a small green creature with _strangely_ long antennas and a pair of shiny and _gigantic_ light pink eyes.

"Then I shall restart. I'm home, my master!"

"Welcome home, my loyal servant! How was the filthy school?"

"Disgusting!"

"Good to know!"

"That's bad, master..."

"BAD to know! Happy?"

"No, not really"

He shrugged and went to sit over the coach, next to Gir, who was watching the exciting new season of the Angry Monkey Show.

"Master... There's something I need to know"

"What could it be?" he inquired, rather unwillingly.

"Well, we both know that you hate Earth as hell"

"Yes, I do"

"And I hate it too"

"Indeed, you too"

"So then... Shouldn't we GET OUT of here? There are lots of other planets that we could conquer instead!"

"I think you mean that _I_ could conquer, and anyway, my response is no"

"No? NO? But WHY?"

"Because that would be an act of _cowardice_, you silly subordinate! If we leave, we are fleeing, what means we are letting _them_ win! And before you ask, YES! IT'S SERIOUS!"

"Okay... I understand..."

"FFFF... I was sure that I had made you _smarter_"

"But then why don't you MOVE and invade Earth ONCE AND FOR ALL?"

"We still have to wait for the reinforcements that my Tallest have sent to us!"

"With all due respect, master... They said that _years_ ago"

"No, no, no! You don't have to _worry_, Zal! They'll here soon! For _sure_!"

"Master..."

"And then I'll allow you to share the moon with Gir!"

"_MOONY_!" screeched the robot, tossing a plush he was holding to the air.

"Anyway..." groaned Zal "May I ask what makes this reinforcements so necessary?"

He silenced and frowned, as his face darkened all of a sudden.

"_Him_..." he muttered.

"Huh? What the... Master?"

"It's because of _him_, Zal, it's all because of _him_..."

"Whaa? Who?"

"Remember that filthy human I mentioned before? The filthy human who created that filthy monstrous clone?"

"Yes...?"

"He is my most _mortal_ enemy... The one who wants to ruin my existence... The one who throws things that _burn_ at me and laughs like the jerk he is... The one..."

"MASTER! TO THE POINT!"

"OKAY, OKAY! Hum... He is Dib... The _Dib-Monkey_"

"Den's... master. Right?"

"Right. And who knows how much more hideous creatures that he must be _building_ to form a whole _army_"

"No way... That was what made you need reinforcements?"

"NATURALLY! No matter of how _strong_ is the almighty Zim, the almighty Zim can't deal with this completely alone!"

"Ehm... Master... What about _us_?"

Zal was embracing Minimoose with one hand and pointing at Gir with the other.

"COME ON! That's not enough, even GIR knows it!"

"I know!" exclaimed Gir, actually without getting a word of anything.

"Please, master, if _that _human is the only problem, let me _end up_ with him to advance with the invasion"

"What? NEVER! NOBODY BUT THE ALMIGHTY ZIM CAN DESTROY THE DIB-MONKEY!" he snapped, to her surprise.

"Then... Then what are you waiting for, master? Go and bust his head ALREADY!"

"Do I have to repeat _everything_ again? We have to wait for the reinforcements!"

"But... But..."

"Now shut up and come to watch this stupid show as a stupid normal earth worm"

"Yes, my master..."

In that same moment, in the house from the front block, the _terrible_ mad scientist that the almighty Zim feared so much was plotting something, something _dangerous_, with his _bloodthirsty_ bioweapon.

"Really?"

"Really"

"Really?"

"Really"

"Reaaaally?"

"Really!"

"Yay! Thank you, dad!" exclaimed Den joyfully, hugging her father, as he petted her head with a tender smile.

"You know that I would do anything to get a break from that _damned_ science, dear, specially to spend the whole night with you"

"Aaaaw... But you didn't have to..."

"Too late, I already did it"

"Well, if it doesn't cause you any trouble..."

"As I said, you're the most important thing. I would _never_ put my work above. I would _never_ neglect you, neither ignore you, I don't belong to _that_ kind, of course _not_. Never _ever_"

He was smiling roguishly at Gaz, who glared coldly at him, squeezing a can in her hand.

"Just get the hell out of here already" she grumbled.

"Indeed, we have to go!"

"All right!"

"G-go? W-where?" asked Kiki, coming from the kitchen.

"We are going to go out for a while" replied Den gladly.

"O-oh! T-that's very good, h-have fun!"

"Thanks! And... by the way, Kiki, what are _those_?"

"Huh?"

The tiny girl turned to the table behind her, where she had left a plate with muffins.

"T-that? I baked them! Y-you know, f-for the neighbor and his p-puppy! I-I will go to visit them! Since they were very kind the other day, g-giving me the pizza and stuff..."

"Okay, see you la- wait, WHAT?"

"Den, dear! Can we leave already?"

"Ah! Sure, there I go!"

"D-don't worry, I'll keep one f-for you!"

"No... Kiki... Kiki, HOLD ON!"

"B-babai!"

And Kiki slammed the door.

**Indeed, Den, have fun... e_e**

**To be continued, peoples~**

**Some copyright:**

**Book from Den's locker: 'The War Of The Worlds' fragment. Belongs to H.G. Wells**

**Zal's lovely song: Taken from 'Squirrel Songs', Foamy episode**

**Thanks for reading! If liked review! :3**

**Also... I wonder if the principal's name is Orange .-.**


	9. Test Stage IX

**9 ALREADY! My gosh...**

_**I obviously don't own Invader Zim, just this story and some fan-made characters! No harsh critics please, I am sensitive. Thank you!**_

Test Stage IX

"BUT CARLOS, I LOVE YOU!"

"LIES! THAT'S ALL LIES! YOU CHEATED ON ME!"

"NOOOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME!"

"I ALREADY DID, IDIOT!"

"NUUUUUUU WAAAAAH!"

Gir probably had no idea of what was going on in the TV, but anyway, he was crying as hell. Next to the couch, Zal was staring at him with the most _flabbergasted_ grimace _ever_.

"Eeehm... Master?"

Zim's head popped up from the kitchen entrance.

"Yes, my puny servant?"

"Haven't you considered an _update_ for this _device_'s brain? Or rather, an _addition_, because I don't really think he has one to begin"

"Whut? Update? ADDITION? Absolutely NOT! Any kind of modification could damage his _advanced_ qualities!"

Zal looked back at Gir, who was humming and _licking_ a piece of tuna, with an empty can in his head.

"...advanced? _Seriously_?"

"Seriously. For sure"

She sighed.

"Understood, master. I'll pretend you are right. _For now_"

"You shou- WHAT? What did you mean with THAT?"

But before their intelligent argument could continue, someone knocked the front door, making both turn. It was Kiki, with her lovely homemade muffins...

Meanwhile, in the middle of the city, Den and her dad were getting out of a comic book store.

"Well, I already have the 'Brainwashing Machine' latest issue, so we can go on!" she exclaimed gladly.

"Okay" he replied, staring closely at _what_ she was holding between her hands "And... What's _it_ about, by the way?"

"Psychopath aliens infiltrating in Earth to conquer it with washing machines, although they aren't washing machines for them because they use them for brainwashing _instead_"

Dib rolled his eyes briefly.

"Had to expect that. Somehow"

"It's awesome! There are lots of great chase scenes, and fight scenes, and confrontation scenes, and technical language that I don't get to understand _at all_! Just awesome!"

"Hum, Den... I wouldn't like to be a _killjoy_, but didn't you have nightmares because of those comics?"

"Not anymore, dad, I'm going to turn twelve!"

"Are you sure?"  
"Why? Do I _still_ seem insane or something?"

"What? No! Of course not, dear, I was just a bit... worried about you..."

"Don't be! I have been getting better little by little! Really! I assure you!"

"Okay, okay!" he chuckled "I believe you!"

"No-no! I'm going to prove it! You'll see, I'll spend the whole night without saying _a word_ about sightings, abductions, invasions or any other thing related to aliens"

"Fine"

He was smiling openly. That was his girl...

A while later, they went for some sushi, since raw fish was one of the few things that didn't make Den feel sick. Before entering to the mall, she glimpsed a guy eating a muffin. And then she remembered it...

Kiki and her muffins. Wanting to go to see the neighbor. The al... the weird neighbor. Just a weird neighbor. And since he was moody, he would probably throw her out before she could even give him the muffins. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely nothing to...

Then she saw _pigs_. An enormous sign announcing a special offer in the ham section. Deadly full of _pigs_.

Pigs. Disaster. Had to act. It was the inexorable fate. It was in her blood. Such a doomed blood.

To make it simple, she was being disgustingly dramatic.

"D-dad..."

"Hmm?"

"I... I have to... I have to go to the restroom! I'll be back!"

And so, she ran away, while he just watched, perplexed.

Once she made sure that she was already pretty far, Den changed her destination immediately and went towards the public phones.

"Hello?"

"..."

"Kiki?"

"Whoever you are, you have just made me get out of my couch. You will pay"

"Huh? Aunt Gaz?"

"Den... Had to be you"

"Where's Kiki?"

"I have no idea and I don't really care. She left a while ago with some muffins"

"Oh, God... She went to see the neighbor! The one who lives in front of us!"

"Good to know, now hang up and don't even _dare_ to call again or I'm going to pull out your _eyeballs_"

"You have to go for her! I... I don't trust that _man_, neither his _dog_... So go for her!"

"That's it, if you're not going to hang up, I'll do it..."

"N-no! Wait!"

But inevitably, she hung up. After letting out a nervous groan and then bite one of her nails, Den returned with her father as fast as she could.

"Den? Is everything okay?"

"Whaa? Okay! Yes, sure! Why not? What's the matter? Are you worried? There isn't anything wrong! There isn't anything wrong with the neighbor! I swear! Why? Is everything okay with you?"

"All right, all right, calm down! I got it!"

"Ungh... Sorry..."

He bent down and patted her back.

"It's okay" he said "You must have had a _hectic_ day"

"Yes... Verily..."

Later, they finally found some sushi place. But no matter of how glad she was since she just loved salmon, Den was still attempting to bear an alarming level of tension, that only got worse when they sat down, since right behind them, there was someone watching a movie in a laptop. About a _freakin'_ alien invasion.

"_Where are you going so late, Beeecky?_"

"_You see, since the neighbor has been a nice guy, I baked him some MUFFINS!_"

"_Noes! I could be dangerous!_"

And Den was still biting her nails, at the speed of light.

"I understand that you're hungry, dear, but don't eat your hands" muttered Dib, astonished.

"R-right! Stupid me! Hehe..."

"So... Do you know why I brought you here?"

"To spend time together?"

"Well, besides that"

"I'm not sure then..."

"Okay, I'll just say it... Remember your grandfather?"

"Grandpa Membrane? The one who loves _toast_?"

"Precisely... He's going to recognize me as his rightful successor"

"Whaa! Really?"

"Really. Seems that, after all, it was worth to do all what he told me"

However, he wasn't sounding very glad, and Den obviously hadn't noticed it.

"Then you will become a prestigious scientist! Congratulations, dad!"

"Thanks, dear..."

"Although I hope the science lineage doesn't go to me too! Sorry but I'm interested in other kind of things"

"Other kind of things? Like what?"

"_Forensics_, for example... Or maybe medicine, I always wanted to be a surgeon"

"Wow... Interesting"

"_AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!_"

"SCOUT MARTIANS! What was that!"

"It's just that guy behind us, I think he's watching a movie... At full blast..."

"S-s-s-seriously? I-I-I see!"

"My God, dear, you are terribly pale... Are you okay?"

"Of course! I'm just hungry!"

"Don't worry, here comes your raw fish"

"Raw fish! G-g-good!"

"_MISTER GREEN! YOU HAVE JUST TOOK YOUR HEAD OFF!"_

"_BECAUSE IT'S NOT MY HEAD! I FOOLED YOU, PATHETIC HUMAN!_"

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE WARN ME!_"

"GEEZ! I DID!"

"Huh?"

"Ehm... Nothing... I was... remembering a joke... about a cow that... whatever..."

"_NOW I'M GOING TO MELT YOUR BRAIN!_"

"_NO WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!_"

"_AND NO ONE WILL SAVE YOU BECAUSE YOUR DEAREST COUSIN IS BUSY HAVING SOME... SUSHI!_"

"_WHY THE SUSHI!_"

"Den... You are shivering..."

"COLD! It's cold as hell here!"

"Well... There's your salmon thingy, weren't you hungry?"

"O-oh, right! There I go!"

But once she looked down, after taking a chopstick, her face turned into a horrified grimace. She was seeing Kiki's head instead of the sushi. She was seeing a sharp needle instead of the chopstick. And she was seeing Zim's hand instead of hers. She startled abruptly, to then look away and cover her mouth, with the most petrified glance _ever_.

"...Den?"

"I... I feel sick..."

Dib pounced frantically on his daughter to hold her, although she was already standing up without any trouble.

"There…" she mumbled "I think I need some air…"

"Then let's go out"

"It's okay, it's okay! Just a minute..."

"Den…"

"REALLY! Going to… the restroom! Again!"

"All right…"

Den began to walk away gingerly, step by step, little by little, and then… Then she ran, she ran madly, getting out of the sushi place, then getting out of the mall, to keep running down the streets.

"To hell with sanity! I _must_ know what _he_'s doing with _her_! GODDAMNIT, I MUST!"

Luckily, she found a boy on a bike in the middle of her way. Without thinking it twice, she pushed him and snatched it, as she began to pedal at the speed of light.

"!"

The kid just blinked confusedly, still lying over the pavement.

"Huh... Weirdo..."

Shortly afterwards, he took a monkey from his pants and mounted it, to then _fly_ away.

With that bike, Den got to get to the space monster's evil lair, or rather the sadistic neighbor's house, in seconds.

She couldn't help it. She was _atrociously_ nervous. Anyway, maybe it wasn't so late yet. Maybe _at least_ her head was intact. Maybe...

So, gulping and shivering, Den led her hand to the doorknob... and then kicked the door because she couldn't keep withstanding all that _ridiculous_ tension. Just screw everything.

Once she entered, a blinding light hit her in the face. And then...

"Shall I fetch more burritos?"

"Yes, please!"

"BURRITOS BURRITOS!"

There they were. Kiki, Zal and the green _dog_ were sitting in a couch, nibbling snacks, laughing happily and _apparently_ watching TV.

"..."

Den's first reaction was just a slight twitch. Den's second reaction was to lift her, still trembling, arm slowly and point at them, as if she was still processing the image. And Den's final and definitive reaction was to... Well, to do what she did _so_ well.

"What... What... WHAT THE FREAKIN' _NOODLES_, IN THE NAME OF _ORION'S BELT_, IS GOING ON HERE!"

Everyone silenced. Naturally, both Zal and Kiki were staring at her, and both had _very_ justifiable shocked faces.

"D-den! W-why didn't you tell me that you were going to come too? I-it w-wouldn't have bothered us, but a-anyway, that's not a _nice_ way to come... R-right, Zal?"

"...who the heck is Orion?"

"Where's that alien scum I MEAN the neighbor? And what is _she_ doing here? And why aren't you tied to a stretcher or something like that and screaming pain as any evil device _stabs_ your guts? No, wait, that was just wrong..."

Kiki's eyes widened.

"N-neighbor? ..._Zim_?"

"EXACTLY! THAT BAST- Whatever, where is he?"

Then Zal lifted her both eyebrows, and looked at Kiki, with a rather upset expression.

"Hold on... Did she just call _my dad_ alien scum?"

"..."

Den's twitch returned immediately, faster than before.

"...dad? D-d-d-d-d-d-dad? DAD?"

"What? Didn't Kiki tell you? I live here! And _he_ is my dad!"

Den was now looking away, more astonished than ever.

"Oh... my... God..."

"And if this has something to do with his mood, it shouldn't surprise you. Do you have any idea of how many _psychotic jerks_ already mistook him with an alien? FFFFFF! Countless!"

"..."

"It's not his fault to look so weird, you know? It's not like he chose to have all those _deformations_"

"A-and anyway, h-he's not here at the m-moment" added Kiki, shrugging.

"..."

Den was frozen. She wasn't sure of what she was feeling. Could be shame, could be guilt, could be sadness, could be _all_. She was speechless. The only thing that she could do was to recede, and keep receding, until reaching the door, to then go away, fast as lighting.

"..."

"..."

Thereupon, the two remaining girls looked at each other, thoughtfully, for a _quite_ long moment of silence, that ended up being broken by Kiki.

"W-well... I-I think I should follow her, j-just in case she's planning to s-stalk any other poor g-guy"

"Yes, good idea..."

"S-see you tomorrow!"

"Okay, babai!"

After the door closed, Zal waited, for another while. Once she made sure Kiki was gone and the door was perfectly closed, she got rid of her disguise with a tired sigh.

"I still want my burritooooos..."

Then she glared at Gir. Somehow, he had managed to _wag_ his fake tail.

"Not now. I have to see if my master is okay"

"Whaa? Master? What happened to the master?"

"Nothing, I just... had to make him _sleep_"

Zal bent down and put her hands under the couch, to then pull _Zim_ out. Effectively, he was unconscious, and something, something that looked like a _syringe_, was stuck in his head.

"Sorry, master, but I couldn't think in anything else. That _revolting larva_ and her _disgusting_ muffins came too fast"

"Dib-Monkey... get those watery things away..." he grumbled, obviously asleep.

"Wow... The effect was longer than what I supposed. Oh well... Help me with this, Gir"

Both servants held him, so carefully as they could, and then placed him over the couch, where he probably would wake up the next day, without having any idea of anything. Nothing unusual.

"Sleep well, master" muttered Zal, with a scarily _sweet_ tone "I better go to continue with my business. Like planning the most _awful_ masterstroke for that _bioweapon_ that worries you so much..."

"My burritooooooooooooos!"

"GNNN! COMIIIING!"

**I think this chapter sucked. Whatever**

**The good thing is that the next one will bring some serious stuff AT LAST**

**And with serious stuff I mean, creepy cutie expecting to make master happy...**

**Run, run for your lives while you can**

**But review before .w.**


	10. Author's Note

Hello there, everyone! Well, to those who have been reading this story... I have to say that, no matter of how hard I try, I can't find ANY way to continue it.

So then I guess the experiment has ended. I might write something else with the same characters soon. And it will probably be some kind of remake, so don't kill me.

The thing is, I'm really glad that this experiment had good results, seeing all those good reviews. So, to all those who wrote them and followed my work, thank you very much!

The Future of Doom will be probably back soon... RELOADED

Once more, thank you!


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